Theft, World Travel, and Love – A Toys R Us Story

My friends, you may not believe this, but when I was a teenager I did some stupid things.  I know, shocking right??  As we find out that Toys R Us is about to close, I remembered a time when I was 18 and did quite possibly one of the dumbest, yet most amazing things I’ve ever done.  Why dumb AND amazing?  I take you back in time to the scene of the crime……..

Oceanside, Ca 1991.  

This place has changed over the years.  The only real theater in downtown Oceanside was for adults only.  Oceanside High School still had an auto shop and a speech/debate team. South Coast Highway was then named (and is still referred to by us purists as) Hill Street!  Not a place you really wanted to be at night unless that was your thing.  I still don’t get the name change.  I mean, calling the prostitutes ‘Hill Street Hookers’ rolled off the tongue much better than ‘South Coast Highway Hookers’.  Goodness, the latter sounds like an episode of 48 hours!

I was a few months out of high school and working at a Toys R Us.  You all remember that toy store!  For those of us who grew up on this, here’s a nice trip down memory lane:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VJJ-ZLdrTwY

Ah, memories…….anyway.  Toys R Us is about to close its stores for good.  So, as I was banned from Toys R Us in 1991 and told never to return, I HAD to go back 1 more time!

OK, stop asking, here’s what happened.  I can’t go into full details without ratting out others, and thankfully statute of limitations for shoplifting are long past.  I was, as the mobsters call, ‘confirmed’ into a group of workers that got their hands on a box of handheld games that didn’t make it into inventory.   Back then the popular handheld game device was the Nintendo Game Boy, but we had our sights set on the next greatest thing.  Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you……

Yes, the Sega Game Gear!  The latest and greatest in handheld device magic!  You all remember them, right?   Probably have one you passed down through the generations, right?  No?  Yeah, me either…..these things ended up being garbage!  But we were striking while the iron was hot.  At least my co-conspirators did.

The setup was easy.  The box of these was hidden in an upstairs area reserved for Christmas backstock.  We would sneak back, grab one or two, bring them down to the floor and replace the contents of some clearance item box with these.  Now keep in mind, these were retailing for $149 and the racket was to sell them to friends for $50.  Easy money……except if you’re me.

My first and only attempt at this went down this way.  I got 2 from the backstock area, I was able to get them into a clearance item box that cost around $5.  At that point, I was home free.  But me being the genius I am, I decided I needed to shrink wrap the box.  The back area where the shrink wrapping machine was had a lot of employees coming and going, so I didn’t think anyone would notice or care.  Well, there was 1 manager in that area that was watching what I was doing.

I made it to the cash register, I paid for my item and all I had to do was get the senior agent on duty to sign my receipt.  Easy, until that same manager decided to ask me why I shrink wrapped the box I was buying.  Trying to talk my way out of it, that manager decided to check the contents and see what was inside.  At that point I froze, having no clue what to do next. She asked me where the game devices came from and I told her I had no idea. She paused, then decided not to push the issue at that time. I was refunded my money for the item I was trying to purchase and told to come back for my shift the next day.

Upon arriving I was immediately ushered to the manager’s office.  There stood this man from the Toys R Us home office who in later years reminded me exactly of Bill Lumburg from Office Space

This mans spent a good 2 hours trying to break me down, trying to get me to admit how I was doing it and who was in on it with me.  For those of you reading this that WERE in on it, don’t ever say I’m not a loyal friend!

Here was where I knew they didn’t have much on me.  For 1, I never actually made it out of the store with the items so I technically didn’t shoplift.  And 2nd, these items were never brought into inventory so they couldn’t figure out where they came from to begin with!

I was 18 at the time so they wanted to arrest me, but for what?  We were both in this place of “OK, what now?”  So, they did the most harm they could do.  They not only fired me, but they BANNED ME from the store!

Banned from a Toys R Us!  That’s about the equivalent of being cut off for having too much to drink at a tea party!  And they meant it.  I tried going back in 1993, was spotted by someone that remembered me, and was escorted out by security!  All these little kids seeing me getting walked out of the building, I even think I made Geoffrey Giraffe ashamed of me.

So, I never tried to set foot in that store again…..until now.

Present day.  On a trip to Oceanside, I could not pass up the opportunity to visit the store one more time before it’s gone for good.  Would there be anyone left that remembered me?  Would my photo be on the wall and security ready to pounce?  Let’s find out 🙂

I’m in the parking lot, steps away from reliving that infamous world-renowned crime syndicate operated out of a children’s store.

I made it to the entrance, my life was about to change forever!  Who knew what future lay ahead for me? I turned, I stepped inside, and……..ummm……well…….it was a toy store.  yay………..

The place had changed a LOT.  It was not the store I remembered.  The whole floor plan was redone, it was smaller inside, and it brought no memories back to when I worked there.  Except for one spot.

There was a door that leads to the warehouse.  This door wasn’t there before, but looking through it I could see their shrink wrapping machine was in the same spot.  Do I tempt the hand of fate one last time?

Well, let’s look at it like this.  I didn’t recognize anyone, the kids that worked there weren’t even BORN when I was the Capone of toy smuggling, so I decided not to be that person.  It was a fun trip down memory lane though.

OK, so I think at this point we’ve covered the dumb.  So why was this amazing? Well, if I hadn’t been fired from Toys R Us I wouldn’t have moved to Japan.  I wouldn’t have come back and worked at Carlos Murphys Restaurant in Carlsbad where I would meet my work mentor and someday work with him again at Old Chicago Restaurant in Oregon.  Oregon truly was one of the best periods of my life, and I can’t imagine life without this time.  And ultimately, I believe all these events lead me up to meet and marry the love of my life Amanda.  This was the path I was meant to be put on, and it all started with getting fired from a Toys R Us!

Do you ever look back at something you did when you were younger and think it was dumb?  Think about it again, and I hope that dumb thing put your life on a path to be who you are now.  And I hope it was amazing!

Thank you for being here 🙂