Hello friends! Today, if I may, I’d like to take you on a little adventure I’ve been living in for the past 5 years or so. I’ve had a lot of this rattling around in my head for a long time so I’m excited to finally get this all out. We’re going to begin, as most of my life stories do, at Disneyland…..
Prologue: Limping my way into the COVID era……
Amanda and I went to Disneyland to get our perfect “We’re pregnant” photo. It was such a great October day, was a bit on the warm side but we managed. The only issue I was having was the pulled muscle in my leg. I couldn’t shake it. Stretch it out, take breaks, rest, it will not go away. But we made it through the rest of the day there, because after all, it IS Disneyland!
Fast forward about 5 months. I’m still limping around; this thing wasn’t going away. There was my first red flag. It bothered me, but just as much as a pulled leg muscle would. I was working out regularly at Chuze Fitness at the time and it did hinder some of the things I was doing there, so that was my 2nd red flag. I finally decided it was time to see my doctor.
The American Healthcare System Part 1
My doctor was a great lady, she really encouraged me to keep up with my weight loss, and was always open with me, I felt comfortable with her. So, I decided to go see her about my leg muscle issue. She sent me for X-rays, and when they came back, she said these words to me that I never thought I’d be marking off my Bingo card “You have hip arthritis”.
Arthritis? I have arthritis in my hip! But wait, arthritis is that thing that happens to people when the weather changes and isn’t it the reason old people smell like BenGay? She could see I was bewildered, so she stopped saying arthritis and started calling it Osteoarthritis because it was localized to a specific joint. Thanks, doc, that made it SO much better! I’m just going to keep calling it arthritis, save myself some typing.
OK, so my problem-solving brain immediately goes into gear. What do we do? What’s the next step? This is where COVID comes in. I really did love my doctor at the time, but I could tell that COVID had already started taking its toll on her. Her positive demeanor just wasn’t there like it was before, and I could see she was off. If I were Sheldon Cooper I would have made her a hot beverage. I can never really fault her for this, I can’t imagine what the people in that profession had to go through. But she gave me all the answers to signify “We’re not doing anything for you right now, go home” I was told I’m too young for a hip replacement, I’d have to get another replacement in 10 years, if I exercise and keep losing weight the pain will diminish. I was then handed the standard hospital pamphlets all about “Your disease and you” and sent home.
First challenge – Live, Adapt, and Do It In Style!
Funny thing, arthritis. If I got it in my hands, that sucks. There go my chances of helping the local bowling league make it to finals with my “Golden Turkey” skills! If I bowled, that is…….
If I got it in my shoulder, there goes my dream of one day throwing out the first pitch at a Padres game. Well, not so much a dream, they’re so desperate for fans right now I would probably get paid to be there!
But nope, mine had to be in my hip. One of the most weight bearing joints on your body next to your knees. The gyms stayed open for a bit longer through the beginning of COVID so I did what I could to still work out and try to get more weight off. Then, the gyms closed. Then, EVERYTHING closed. My job at the time also sent us to work from home so there was that. Adding all of this up, losing weight was not happening for me.
As the weight packed on, the pain level increased. As the pain increased, I’d gain more weight. Wash, rinse and repeat. This also led me to start using a cane for walking. Mostly because I wanted to look regal, but it did help with balance and keeping the pressure off.
Long story short, I got big. Bigger than I’ve ever been in my life.
The kind of big where I couldn’t sit at booths in restaurants. Weight Watchers sent me a refund check, and I never signed up for their service! The kind of big where I didn’t know Harry Potter was standing there while I was trash-talking about his mom. This made for some interesting challenges going out into the world, one of them being our trips back to the Happiest Place on Earth! (I heard that groan people, I can’t help that we love the place!)
If You Can Walk, You Can NOT Be a DUMBASS!!!
As time went on and it became harder to walk any long distances, Disneyland reopened from COVID and we were dying to go. There was no WAY I could have survived a day, let alone the 3-day trip we did, walking around. So, to my dread, the idea came up to rent an ECV and be able to ride around in better comfort all day. This did not thrill me, mostly because I’m a stubborn bastard that didn’t think I needed one of those, there were people much worse than I was that needed to rent them. But I caved and got one.
OK, here is where a place like Disneyland is the Happiest Place on Earth, apparently only if you’re walking upright? I had never experienced being in one of these motorized rides or even a wheelchair in my life. Not 5 minutes into the park I already have people stepping right in front of me, cutting me off without any apology, and just acting as if I’m the one in THEIR way. Through the frustration of having this happen, my heart sank. Was I ever this person? I’ve always tried to be a nice person, but did I ever disrespect anyone who had to be in a wheelchair or motorized scooter like this? I did 4 different trips to Disneyland in all renting the ECV’s. I want to say in total I probably hit somewhere between 15-20 people, all because they stepped in front of me and those things do NOT stop on a dime. No apologies, a few arguments with people, and one poor little girl I hit who fell to the ground because her mother dragged her in front of me, and then just kept pulling her away. Ah, the human race……
The reason I’m including this in my blog is because I have such a new perspective on life for people that cannot put two shoes on and have those two shoes walk side by side every day. If you walk with a cane, if you’re in a wheelchair, motorized scooter, and it’s your only option, whatever it is, I see you. I feel you, and I love you. I’m going to be back to some type of normalcy soon, but so many of you don’t have that option. I hope some of you that don’t have to go this route will take this to heart. The next time you see someone in one of these devices, why is it necessary for you to look right at them and then step in front of them to make them slam on their brakes so you can get to where you need to go? You are not that important in life people, we’re all in this together! The next trip I take to Disneyland when I’m walking again, if I see you coming in a wheel chair or ECV, I will go all Fezzik from Princess Bride on that crowd and clear a path for you! I’m 6’4 and talk pretty loudly, don’t think I can’t!! For the rest of my life, and I promise with all my heart, I got you!
The American Healthcare System Part 2
It was time, I tried all I could, but I needed to get a hip replacement. In the middle of COVID. Easy, right? We changed medical providers, so I had a new opportunity to get this done. If there is one thing I’ve learned about the American Medical System, everything you see in medical shows on TV is a lie! If my situation had happened on TV, Doogie Howser would have gotten me through all hurdles, made sure I was well taken care of, then went home and recapped his thoughts on his Commodore computer with the bright blue screen. Dr. Ross would have swooped in like the white night he was, set me up for success, then went home with a nurse or two. Thankfully Dr. House was in Diagnostic Medicine, I don’t know what kind of fresh hell I would have experienced with that guy!
But here’s how it all went down. I saw Doctor #1; she was useless and told me to lose weight before she’d do anything. I at LEAST got her to get in a referral to see a specialist about my hip before I dropped her like a hot potato. I go there, they see the X-Ray, tell me “Yep you need a replacement but…..ooooohhhhh, you’re too overweight. You must bring your BMI down to this number before we can even refer you to the surgeon”.
Doctor #2 was like a gift from Santa and got me on the path of weight loss. Fast forward to being within 6 pounds of their requirement and the specialist told me to come back when I was 6 pounds lighter otherwise, he can’t send the referral for surgery. This is where our care system cracks me up. He was going to hold me back over 6 pounds, and not even try because of the bureaucracy behind it all. Long story short, that conversation didn’t end well for him. and he sent the referral. He guaranteed me it would get kicked back because of the metrics. 3 weeks later, I got the call to come in for a consultation. It was another 8 weeks out, but again, welcome to the American Healthcare System.
My Family – What They Endured and What I Tried to Hide
Amanda wins wives. I’m just going to say that now. There are too many reasons to list, but watching my transition of pain and how hard it was to even stand up from a chair was so hard on her. She picked up SO much slack over the years that some out there are only lucky to have. Her day is coming when I’ll be taking the kids out of the house for the day, or many days, and she’ll be able to put her feet up and relax. She’s more than earned everything I’m going to have the ability to do again.
The type of pain that it had grown to was severe. At home, I didn’t try to hide it. Walking sucked, I barely did. When I had to stand up the pain would be so bad I’d sometimes have to scream or grimace in pain. My kids would hear me, and I’d hear them say “Here comes daddy”. When I was out though, I tried so hard to hide it. I still wanted to be included, I didn’t want to be that person that had to sit things out. There were some tough ones though. But pain or not, I found a way. Again, Amanda would know what I was doing and be ready the next day to take great care of me and the fact I could barely move.
Not a lot of people, me included, realized just how bad arthritis was. And as it got worse, how people can bear with this is crazy. What’s that? You don’t believe it was that bad? Let me show you. Here is an example of a good hip X-Ray (my left one)
Notice how the hip bone is nice and round, has the layer of cartilage over the top of it? Now, for your viewing pleasure, here is what I’ve been living with for years now. Do not adjust your sets, what you are seeing is in clear view:
This is what was grinding together every moment of my day. I look at this X-Ray and think “Was my hip trying to make fresh guacamole like they used to do table side at El Torito?” I think showing this to my family helped put my pain in perspective. I wasn’t just sitting around not wanting to be helpful, I love and appreciate everyone who stepped up and helped with my kids, got my wife a drink while she was in the pool (Andy), ALL the extra my In Laws have done for us and just overall made sure I was OK. Now, on to the good stuff……
The American Healthcare System Part 3
Meeting the surgeon for the first time was surreal, like is this really going to happen?. That extra few pounds I’m having a hard time dropping aren’t going to stop them? He looks at my X-Ray and says the same thing everyone else that looked at my X-Ray that day said, “Your hip really is awful!” He was normally booking 3 months out but got me on his schedule just over a month after our meeting (he went on vacation, well earned). Meeting #2 he shows me the artificial hip he, in his own words, is “going to hammer into my femur and insert into the hip socket”. Check this thing out, it looks like something you’d buy off a Snap-On Tools truck to fix the fuel injector on a heavy-duty vehicle!
Fast forward to surgery day! Again, everything is moving like a whirlwind. Go into this room, get into a stylish hospital gown then shuffled off to another room. I’m going to be a little self-gratuitous here, but you must admit, I’m pretty sexy in a baggy hospital gown. I mean come on, those yellow socks though! Sorry ladies, I’m taken!
And here we are. The surgery was a great success! I’ve been home for over a week now and I can already feel how much better life is going to be. It doesn’t help that I got plantar fasciitis in my foot and must deal with that, but I’ll still take it over the pain I had before.
OK, so why am I telling you all this? Why did you read through all this other than to think I’m bragging, or just overall babbling? Well, it’s neither. In my heart, I sat down to write this in the hope that if any of you ever come across a situation where you’re told to settle or gives you any excuse as to why your quality of life should not be what YOU need it to be, push back. Fight for yourself. Get 2nd, 3rd, as many other opinions as you can. If I had pushed harder, and not just accepted what she told me, this blog post might not exist. At the time of my doctor’s visit, thinking I had a pulled muscle, my BMI was UNDER the requirement for hip surgery. She could have gotten me on the books then and there for a meeting with the surgeon! We have this one life, and so many years of mine have gone to not being 100%. It was a hard learning lesson, and one that haunts me sometimes, but all I have now is this great opportunity to see what’s coming ahead and what I have to look forward to. Do the same for yourself, please. You’re worth it, you deserve it, and don’t let anyone tell you differently!
My friends, thank you for being here <3